So I haven't posted a true blog in quite awhile, but something has been weighing on my mind so I thought that it was time.

I have many flaws (as I'm sure you know) and many pet-peeves (which most could probably be classified as flaws as well). One of them that qualifies for both is when I have to put more effort into a relationship than the other person continually. Now, don't go assuming that I'm talking about Aaron - I'm not. He works just as hard, if not harder, at our marriage than I do. Anyway, I am pretty used to having to put more effort into this relationship. It's something that I accept and willfully do. I DO mind when I feel that I'm being taken advantage of or made to feel bad that I'm not doing more. Basically, I feel as if I'm giving a meal to a homeless/hungry man and then him complaining that I didn't include dessert. It seems that I always get one line of how grateful this person is for something and three lines of how it'd be great if I did it more. Then on top of it, I feel that they let us down for a very important event.

I can't change it. What I need to change is how I feel about it. Right now I'm dealing with feelings of resentment towards a person that I should never feel that towards. I need to not only forgive this person and find forgiveness for my own feelings, but change how I feel about their reactions to my actions. And frankly, I don't know how to do that. Aaron says he just forgets about it... hmmm, that's helpful!

Bishop H. Burke Peterson said:
"The longer the poison of resentment and unforgiveness stays in a body, the greater and longer lasting is its destructive effect. … The poison of revenge, or of unforgiving thoughts or attitudes, unless removed, will destroy the soul in which it is harbored” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1983, pp. 83–84; or Ensign, Nov. 1983, p. 59).

Thomas S. Monson
"The Spirit must be freed from tethers so strong and feelings never put to rest so that the lift of life may give buoyancy to the soul. In many families there are hurt feelings and a reluctance to forgive. It doesn’t really matter what the issue was. It cannot and should not be left to injure. Blame keeps wounds open. Only forgiveness heals. George Herbert, an early seventeenth-century poet, wrote these lines: “He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass if he would ever reach heaven; for everyone has need to be forgiven.”

Beautiful are the words of the Savior as He was about to die upon the cruel cross. Said He, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do."

3rd Nephi says:
“There shall be no disputations among you. …
“For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another.
“Behold, this is not my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another; but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away.”

Of all the counsel out there though, I'm not sure that I've found "how." I suppose it's b/c it's different for every person. I know that I need to do my 'primary answers:' search the scriptures, pray, fast, etc. I need to get closer to the Spirit and find that forgiving nature that I know is in there somewhere.