Ahh, Pre-pregnancy weight, why do you elude me?

The title kinda tells it all. I am still not at my pre-pregnancy weight. Definitely not my pre-pregnancy shape! (although all the moms out there will attest to this - are you ever really the same shape? Sadly, no.) My lovely little round baby is 4 months old today... and has left me lovely and round as well. lol Yes, I know it was worth 'the weight' (as all the OB office propaganda tells you). Yes, I know it took 9 months to put it on. However, it doesn't change that I hate it. I hate it, hate it, hate it. (can you picture me on the floor throwing a temper tantrum like my 2 yr old?) I have been bouncing between the same 4 lbs for at least a month, maybe two. It seems like some of it'll come off, then four days later it's back on. Arrrr at the boomerang poundage. Double Aaaarrrrrrrrr.

Soooooo, today I signed up at a local gym. I convinced my mom to sign up too. I have been eating fairly well for months and yet this last 6 lbs eludes me. And while it'd be nice to get these 6 lbs off, I more accurately need to get more of my muscle back and then get back to my ideal weight. (Seeing as how muscle weighs more than fat...) Anyway, I've been eating really good for about 90% of the time... its the other 10% of the time, when we're at parents' houses for example, that is really screwing me.

I'm 60% excited for the new gym membership and all that goes with it. I'm 15% wondering if I'll make good use for it, 15% scared (of what? Idk), and 10% thinking "holy crap! Do you know how much money I just spent?" Tonight I did about 6 miles on the bike before I had to come home and make dinner and resume mommy duty. I'm hoping tomorrow I can fit in a spin or Pilate's class sometime before or after playgroup. Scheduling is very difficult with a 4 mo old and a 2.5 yr old. I bought a pass to the daycare center there and again have mixed feelings. I am hopeful it'll go well and that I'll have a few hours a day (or an hour) that I can have someone else watch the kiddos. However, I am very scared. I've never left either of them with people that I don't know. Sophie has spent a couple of days at daycare (when we were on vacay), loves the church nursery, and barely notices when we leave her at grandma's house - but we've never left her with someone I don't know! ahhh! And, if that wasn't enough, I'm really worried about leaving Brielle! Ahhhhh. She's only 4 months old. She's never been left with anyone besides Aaron and my mom. I'm freaking out a bit. Whewww - deep breath. It'll be ok... right??????