Things that Motherhood Changes

As I watched my daughter puke all over both of us and methodically tried to figure out how to keep her calm while also plotting how to get both of us to the bathroom, undressed, and de-pukified (yep, I'm saying it's a word) while NOT getting puke on anything else, I realized - this is definitely something that has changed since becoming a mother.

Of course, there is the obvious - before becoming a mom I didn't normally have puke on me, let alone someone sitting on my lap puking directly onto my chest, stomach, and legs. Hmmm, yeah, I can't remember the last time that vomit actually touched me before Sophie was born. I was never one to drink and get sick, or for that matter have someone else drink and get sick around me. I very rarely vomit when I'm ill (although there was a food poisoning incident maybe two years back, but NEVER would it actually make contact with my skin! eeeewwwwww). But I think that I would need both hands (and perhaps feet) to count the number of times in the last 17 months that I have been puked on.

Secondly IF I were ever to come in contact with vomit BS (before Sophie) I very probably would have officially freaked out. Now, I'm thinking.... "hmmm, do I let it soak in a little so that it doesn't slide off my jeans and onto the couch when I get up? What can I use to soak it up? Oh yeah, my nice throw blanket, yeah, that'll do the trick." It must be that when you become a parent, auto pilot takes over during those really disgusting moments (vomit, poop, pee, blood, etc). I can't say that it's the most marketable skill (unless perhaps you're in Mallory's profession), but it sure comes in handy at home.

So it got my thinking, what else changes when you become a mom/dad? Well, besides the fact that my tummy resembles a silvery target courtesy of my sexy stretch marks, here are some of the first things that jumped into my head:

*I never had conversations about poo. No, seriously - never. Now, seriously all the time. Has she? How much? What kind? blah blah blah

*I am totally enraged by the news. If some of the people that they cover stories on were at my front door, I wouldn't hesitate to pull out my .38 Smith and Wesson 6 round revolver... what I did with it would depend on whether they decided to leave walking or running.

*I respect my parents so much more. I remember being young... How they allowed me to make my own path and decisions is beyond me. How I lived to get past my bratty stage is also beyond me.

*I love to be spontaneous - pick up and go do something fun, travel, explore. I still love to, as long as we're home by 7:30 so I can give S a bath and put her to bed.

*My house is no longer littered with Oprah's book club books and recently released movies. Now you have to find your way through the dolls and board books. My reading material has definitely changed. While I still enjoy good fiction reads, I read way more non-fiction stuff: 'Solve your child's sleep problems,' ' what to expect the first year,' 'sign with your baby,' etc.